Is This Real Life?

I had to re-blog this.

Perez Hilton reports about an extremely wacky pending case in which a woman used a dildo to protect herself from police.

Kidding? You can't make this stuff up.


Image: Perez Hilton

Carolee Bildsten, a woman who was charged with aggravated assault against a Gurnee, Illinois police officer for attacking him with a dildo "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device" last November, says it was self-defense!

Apparently, the woman was driven home from a restaurant by the police officer to grab cash to settle her bill.

He accompanied her inside and she told the officer the money was in her sock drawer, reached in for cash, but pulled out her vajayjay ram rod and "held it over her head and approached the officer in a threatening manner."

Bildsten reports that she was taking precautions because she had recently read an article about a local police officer being charged with sexual assault.

Or maybe she had one too many, suggests Perez.

Did we mention the officer found her lying on the ground outside of the restaurant to begin with?

When asked why she chose the "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device" to defend herself with, she answered:

"The only thing in my sock drawer besides my socks and my cash was a dildo."

Read the whole article.

JEEPERS! How on earth do you think you're going to hurt someone with a dildo?

Lesson learned? Never brandish dildos. Especially at police officers. Or public safety officers, or RA's, or your parents. Just don't.